To the best friend who became bro,
Hey, how is it going on for you there in Banglore?
I’ve always been a sucker at writing letters — but I don’t need to tell you that. You already know. Who starts writing so formally to their bro, anyway? I think it is my fear that someone might read this letter. Also, “did you get laid in Banglore?” is definitely not the right way to start a letter.
Jokes apart, did you get laid in Banglore? Just curious.
So here I’m, at our adda, writing a letter to you without a friendship band, just expressing how it has been lately. Our favourite chill-out and forget-the-tension place has gone quiet. Or is it just me who has always noticed the sound of our laughter and nothing much has changed?
Also, I’ve cleared all our previous debts and have started paying Chotu for the tea on the spot. Can’t have debts. People who are like you just might give a surprise and leave. Asshole.
I miss you, not in a gay way, obviously. And my college sucks. I stood here on the campus with a light heart, believing that I will find someone whom I can call a friend. Guess what? I’m lonelier than ever. Most of the boys here are either too sexist, laughs at five-year-old WhatsApp forwards, and believes Harry Potter is for kids. The kind of introvert I am, I won’t be getting along with any of them. I’ve tried, but they are too naïve for me. So, I’ve decided to stay away from them and prefer books. Girls here are pretty, but they have found their Jeevan Saathi in the first month itself. Thus, I am still single. Yay!
Yeah, I know you must be scoffing right now, thinking: “Like you know a thing or two about girls.”
A fact that sucks: I don’t know anything about them. I did not even know any porn websites. You introduced them to me! So, thank you for that. And you were my only thread to having a communication with a girl or having a girl breathe around me for more than 3 seconds.
Well, it all sucks.
On a brighter note, I know it is going well for you. I saw all the Instagram and Facebook updates. I’m happy for you. And I’m not jealous. Bro is a bond. I know you’ll return home in a few months and we can hang out again. So, I look forward to that. Just don’t change, okay?
With Platonic Love,
Open Letter by Gaurav Gupta on this #FriendshipDay (2017)
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